What’s Next on the Baby Front?

By Melissa

Oh, hi there. I feel a little excited/nervous after the amazing response we’ve gotten about this blog, and on top of that, sharing that we are going to try to have another baby. It feels like in high school when you were walking between classes and see the boy that you like and you kissed for the first time the night before, and then you have to try to play it all cool like it was no big deal but you were kind of screaming inside…you know the feeling? Yep, that’s me. Cool as a cucumber. Not freaking out and excited sweating at all. (PS, I can GUARANTEE that Philip is rolling his eyes so hard at this metaphor.)

But really, this is exciting! I mean, I’ve always known that I wanted another baby, it was just about figuring out the WHEN. About a year ago I distinctly remember sitting on my bedroom floor on a Sunday morning that was pure chaos, with whining kids sitting and climbing on me, and saying to Philip, “Should I go on birth control? Because the thought of getting pregnant right now legit makes me want to die.” A little dramatic, I know. But I just felt like life was a lot right then. Fast forward to now, and I feel like our life is a little less chaotic. Schedules and routines are pretty well set, kids are getting more independent, I’m pretty healthy and back in better shape, so why not throw that all out the window and start over with a new baby? 😉 I mean, not today, but let’s start this planning process.

So for us, there’s a lot of steps when trying to get pregnant. It has been about 2.5 years since we did this whole process last, so I think I will call my doctor’s office this week to kind of get a refresh on where to start. Last time I just called them on day one of my cycle and we were on the schedule to transfer about six weeks later (which of course got pushed back due to some unforeseen complications, but still, it was all relatively quick). But for starters, once we decide that we are ready to get started, there will be bloodwork, ultrasounds, SHG (saline sonohysterogram) where they check the inside of my uterus (read here about how that went last time), ordering medications, verifying what is needed for insurance to cover, etc. So yeah, not your normal night of fun that results in a pregnancy. We are hoping to get pregnant in the first half of this year.

And then after all of that, hopefully we get pregnant, but do you know what the result of a pregnancy is? A baby! And while I know that a lot of people say that you’ll figure it out once you have the baby, we are not those people. There is planning to be done! I remember when we were driving home from doing the embryo transfer that ultimately got us pregnant with Jade, I said to Philip, “If this works and we have one baby, I think we should move Maren’s carseat to the middle of the back row, and keep the baby and Cohen on the sides since we will need to help them with their carseats and Maren can get buckled herself.” Uhhhhh, what? I know it’s crazy, but it just how my brain works! I neeeeeeed to feel like I am in control of something and have details planned.

So some of the little things to think about are easy, like figuring out what room to put a baby in and how to rearrange kids’ sleeping arrangements. Then there are things that take more thought, like future vacations (a priority, obviously) and figuring out just how we are going to swing Disneyland next year and if it’s still a possibility. And then back to carseats and positions in the car… that’s simple, but the crap thing is that we have to buy a new car. Ugh, buying cars is about our least favorite thing on the planet, but we are at capacity with both of our vehicles, so we will need to start researching that. Especially since I’m so very very vain and refuse to get a mini van. I KNOW THEY HAVE SO MUCH STORAGE! AND SO MANY CUP HOLDERS! They have to be ridiculously convenient to make up for how not sexy they are. Yes, I know I’m ridiculous, but let me have my thing.

Along with that huge financial obligation, we will have a few others. Like first and foremost, the cost of the initial fertility treatment. Medications, especially injectable fertility ones, can be expensive. We have high deductibles which will mean we will be paying out of pocket for everything as we go through it. And then down the road, we will need to start saving for when I am on maternity leave and not working, plus hospital copays and bills that inevitably follow. And let’s not forget that I will also be eating my weight in bean and cheese burritos from Filiberto’s for nine straight months, so we better bump up that eating out budget. 🙂

And then the last thing that we have to plan that we have pretty much decided on, but often question our sanity, is HOW MANY EMBRYOS to transfer. We have done three embryo transfers so far, putting in two each time, and gotten two single babies from it. So with my history, if only one is successful, then I need to do two again to give me the best chances of this being successful, right? Right. BUT! What if they both work? What if we get two babies??? I mean, we would love twins and be so so excited about them both, but good heavens, that is FIVE KIDS! Like, the last two times I was trying to get pregnant I was more okay with the possibility of twins, but this time? Man, oh man. Five. Freaking. Kids. It would be awesome. The most chaotic awesome that could ever exist, but awesome. But also chaos. And that would throw my psycho planning into a whole new level of crazy. So when we start thinking of that possibility, we inevitably start thinking about just transferring one single, solitary embryo. So much easier and so much more predictable. But also, lowers our chances of getting pregnant at all. And then if it doesn’t work, that pushes our timing back. And it would be another couple thousand dollars to transfer again after that. Not to mention, that is a lot of progesterone shots in the booty that I just don’t want to do more of than I have to. And in general, this isn’t emotionally super easy either, so it makes sense to transfer two. But if I have twins, who wants to find me a live in nanny? 🙂

Uno bambino, back in 2015

So that’s that! Aren’t you glad that you don’t live inside my crazy little brain that overanalyzes everything? I’ll continue to share but try my hardest to filter the super crazy out of it.

Also, THANK YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN for visiting our blog. Thank you for your excitement and enthusiasm, it has been all sorts of humbling to see how many people have voiced and shown their support. We love you endlessly for it!

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